Sunday 25th July
I drank a bottle of red wine at home last night, then an awful lot of rum in the Reggae Lounge later. It’s taken me three hours to write this much, and the only reason I have succeeded this far is because I have started drinking again.
I woke up this morning with a screaming headache and a mouth drier than two nuns in the Sahara. I staggered to the fridge and downed a bottle of ice cold water, only to find that Sandy had emptied it out and filled it with vodka. I had swallowed a huge glug of it before the terrible realisation burned it’s way down my throat and coughed it’s way back up via my nose. Mrs Muck heard my pained gargling noises and found me on the floor by the fridge in a pool of vodka, vomit and snot. Not the best start to the day.
We headed to Bubba’s Sports Bar for an American/Bajan buffet breakfast this morning and feasted on pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, fried potatoes and plantain in the hope that it would help my hangover.
But if you’re going to be hungover, there are worse places to recover than a beach in Barbados. We are currently under a parasol on our local beach, drinking heavily once again. Alcoholism is just a permanent way of fending off a hangover…
It was a good night though, and we saw some proper bogling from the girls in the club. And I mean proper bogling- girls bent over, booties high in the air, shaking and grinding like the young ladies’ lives depended on it. I have to say it looked fantastic, and much more erotic than when MC Check does it.
It was fine until later on in the night when the music veered away from reggae, and into R&B (rubbish and bollocks), the musical equivalent of sucking donkey cock. By that time it was definitely time to go anyway, as all the drinks started to catch up with me and I was swaying like a drunken palm tree in the breeze.
My alcohol fuelled appetite knew no bounds, and we stopped at a street vendor where I am ashamed to say I wolfed down grilled fish, a chicken burger as well as some macaroni cheese. And all after I had cooked a special Barbados bolognese before we went out. I don’t know where I put it all, I really don’t. Mostly on my hips and thighs I’m afraid.
We have hired a car for three days from tomorrow and are looking forward to exploring the island. Fingers crossed the weather will be fine and we will be able to find some hidden deserted beaches to chill out on. If not, there are some amazing caves to explore in the middle of the island, and also Welchman Hall Gully, a ravine surrounded by tropical forest, and alive with native Caribbean flora and fauna.
Sorry, went all guidebook on you for a minute- it won’t happen again I promise.
Time for my siesta, and then another evening of heavy drinking. Holidays are tough, but someone’s gotta do ’em…